Unsolicited Grandparent Advice from a Soon-To-Be Mimi

Originally Published in January, 2018 in The Other Paper by Ellen Drolette

I thought it would be appropriate to share a few pieces of
advice that don’t come in the parenting manual.  Being a mother will always be one of my most significant life accomplishments.  Raising children is hard work. It is a mix of bitter and sweet, downhill and up, pumping with all your might and coasting to a complete stop.  Parenthood is moments of silence, utter chaos and organized messes throughout your life met with many mixed emotions.

Be a good listener.  You taught me better than anyone that I do not need to fix your problem.  You once told me that I just need to listen.  As a Mom and Dad, you will want to fix all of the things.  Don’t. Just listen first.  You taught me that. It may have taken over 25 years, but, I got it.

Sometimes your child just won’t like you. Parents can sometimes make decisions that are unpopular, especially, when your child is a teenager and just doesn’t like anyone.  Be
a parent during those times, not a friend. Hopefully, they will understand and say “thanks ma, what was I thinking?”

Take care of yourselves.  Parents will still need time to be a couple and as they get wrapped up in becoming a family of three, identity can sometimes get lost.  Have a
date night. Accept the help from your neighbors and by all means make sure that you take care of you. 

You are your child’s BEST advocate. No one will ever know your child better.  You will always be your child’s best and
first advocate.  Never apologize to anyone for advocating for your child’s needs. Ever.

Play, play, play.  Looking back if there were one thing as
parents we would do differently, it would be that we would play more.  We would have just gotten on the floor and played cars, blocks, dress up and drawn pictures WITH you. 

Don’t let anyone tell you that you are holding your newborn baby too much.  Hold your baby as long as you want
to.  You cannot “spoil” a young infant that is creating attachments to trusting adults. 

When your child asks for “just one more book”, every few days give in.  It won’t seem like it right now, childhood
lasts just a little while. There are only a few years before a child becomes an independent reader.  Snuggle with your
child and read one more book before bed.

 Play outside every day.  I don’t say this for the sake of your child.  I say this for the sake of the adults in every child’s life.  Get yourself and your child outside every single day.  Yes, weather can be cold.  Both parents and children need daylight, fresh air and time to move.  It does wonders for children’s behaviors and adults as well.

Be a good listener.  You taught me better than
anyone that I do not need to fix your problem. 
You once told me that I just need to listen.  As a Mom and Dad, you will want to fix all of the things.  Don’t. 
Just listen first.  You taught me that. It may have taken over 25 years, but, I got it.

In closing, I had to find a perfect quote that speaks to the grandiose-ness that being a grandparent
will be and what it is to every grandparent and parent.  “Grandparents are parents, but with more
sleep, fewer rules and an endless supply of cookies.” Anonymous